Monumental Destruction


Michael Bay Granted Permission to Blow Up the Washington Monument

WASHINGTON, DC--- Paramount Pictures and Michael Bay will team up again to make the fourth installment of the Transformers franchise: Transformers 4: Rise of the Folding Chairs. The Autobots are called back into action once a Decepticon transforms from a folding chair and murders the Secretary of State at a cookout. Only this time, the franchise intends to blow up a real-life national treasure.

The Federal Government has granted Michael Bay a permit to blow up the Washington Monument in the final robot brawl between Optimus Prime and a resurrected Megatron. Despite money in the budget to build a new monument after filming, there are still a growing number of online protestors who wish to preserve the beloved monument. However, die-hard Transformers fans view the explosion stunt as highly patriotic.

“Some people are upset. But they just can’t see how brilliant this is yet,” remarked Bay in a press conference about the Washington Monument's eventual demise. “This will be my greatest movie yet. It will be better than Pearl Harbor. In fact, Part Four might be TOO good.” Production is set to begin in the fall of 2014 and a release date is tentatively set for July 4, 2015.

Reporters attending the conference fired off tough questions at Bay. When asked if the negative attention of fans angered by the seemingly gratuitous demolition of the monument was bothering him, Bay quipped, "go do some reflecting at that reflector pool thing." Bay then stormed out of the press conference, refusing to answer any more questions until his was escorted to his driver and taken back to the airport.


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