FROM THE "FEAR OF A DIRTY TOILET" FILE

Latinos March for Immigration Reform

Immigrants Gear Up For Nationwide Marches


LOS ANGELES, CA--- Salsa and Disco club owner Juan Diaz is urging his employees not to be too hard on the toilets over the next few days due to the uncertainty of when immigrant workers will return to clean them.

Demonstrations and walk-outs, not unlike the ones seen in 2006, are planned nationwide in an attempt to end a crackdown on undocumented workers. The demonstrations will have a virtual front too as social media sites are aflutter over the issue.

Experts say the food service industry will be the hardest hit. Tonya McMullen, owner of a local McDonald's franchise, said she expects 100% of her staff to be absent over the next two days. Club owner Diaz is predicting an off night at his club as well. "With everyone marching well into the night, business will be slow tomorrow."

Studies have shown middle and upper-middle class Americans fear cleaning bathrooms behind only terrorism and lousy cell phone service.

On a related note, House Republican leaders have hinted at a desire to take over the lead on immigration reform from Democrats. Speaker John Boehner is expected to release an outline to his caucus of how such reforms may take shape.

According to sources close to the Speaker, the plan's goals may include strengthening the border, providing a path toward citizenship and implementing a "bathroom-cleaning-credit" system (where as bathrooms are cleaned, closer steps are taken toward legalization for undocumented workers).

Diaz's reaction to this is mixed, "that's kinda racist, but it is a step in the right direction."

STALK US

  • facebook logo
    Let's Be Facebook Friends Instead of Actual Friends. Things Are Always Better Without Eye Contact.
  • twitter logo
    If Laughing at Yourself Builds Character, Follow Us On Twitter to See It Happen 140 Times Per Tweet.
  • YouTube logo
    Subscribe to Our YouTube Channel Because It is WAAAY Easier Than Reading All of These Damn Words.
  • google-plus logo
    Plus One Our Google-Plus Page and a Member of Our Staff Could Be Your 'Plus One' in a Truck Stop Restroom.
  • Subscribe to RSS Feed
    Often Neglect the Things You Love? Subscribe In a Reader. You're Scatterbrained. It's OK. It's Called "Knowing Yourself."