"News In Photos" Archive

  • Hillary Clinton as Secretary of State

    Shhh, The Men Are Speaking

    Hillary Clinton Spends an Entire Career Advancing the Interests of Women, Only to End Up With a Secretary Job.

  • Honeymooning Couple in Deadly South Sudan

    Dream Vacation to South Sudan Turns Deadly for Honeymooning Couple

    Not Even the Travel Agency Saw This Coming. Universe is a Random, Unexplainable Place.

  • Weather Map

    Purple Jizz Blankets Entire North East

    Map of Country Impossible to See With Giant Blob of Weather Gunk Covering Everything Up.

  • Wheel of Fortune in a Bad Economy

    Economy: Contestants Buying Fewer Vowels

    As Recession Rages On, More Restraint Being Shown in Prize Rooms as Well: "Do We Really Need a Jet Ski?"

Featured News Archive

  • Prisoner Exchange between Pakistan and India

    Pakistanis and Indians Exchange Prisoners During Game of Red Rover

    POW's Not Running Full Speed to the Other Side Are Asked to Go Back and Start Again.

  • Drummer Rick Allen

    Up in Arm!

    Def Leppard Drummer Rick Allen Confesses to Murder, Doctor Richard Kimble Exonerated.

  • boys playing basketball

    Stop, Pop, Do-Over

    Facing Elimination, Local Boy Extends Game of ‘HORSE’ to ‘HORS D’OEUVRES.'


  • facebook logo
    Let's Be Facebook Friends Instead of Actual Friends. Things Are Always Better Without Eye Contact.
  • twitter logo
    If Laughing at Yourself Builds Character, Follow Us On Twitter to See It Happen 140 Times Per Tweet.
  • YouTube logo
    Subscribe to Our YouTube Channel Because It is WAAAY Easier Than Reading All of These Damn Words.
  • google-plus logo
    Plus One Our Google-Plus Page and a Member of Our Staff Could Be Your 'Plus One' in a Truck Stop Restroom.
  • Subscribe to RSS Feed
    Often Neglect the Things You Love? Subscribe In a Reader. You're Scatterbrained. It's OK. It's Called "Knowing Yourself."