News Archive

  • Steroid Era Players: Sosa and McGwire

    Sammy Sosa: "Homers Were Vetty Vetty Hard to Hit With No Steroids."

    Hall of Fame Appears Unlikely for Certain Sluggers From the 1990s Steroid Era Accused of "Juicing." Sosa, Bonds, McGwire Considered Longshots.

  • Giant Pitcher Tim Lincecum in Detroit

    Giant Pitcher Annihilates Detroit

    A Giant Tim Lincecum Destroys the City of Detroit. On an unrelated note, San Francisco Wins the World Series in Four Games.

  • Merkel and Obama

    German Chancellor Merkel Acting Like A Total Deutsche Bag

    Obama's Patience Tested By Assembly of Dirty Kraut Bastards.

  • Kenny Powers on an Eastbound Plane

    Eastbound and Down Least Popular Video Selection on LAX to DCA Flight

    Most Passengers Selecting Happy Feet 2. Related: Sample-Size Drinks Making Flight Attendant Seem Like Costco Food-Demo Lady.

Featured News Archive

  • Actor Wallace Shawn

    Actor Wallace Shawn Hospitalized From Exposure to Iocane Powder

    Doctors Say This Type of Poisoning Nowadays Is Inconceivable.

  • Boehner-Obama

    With New Tan, John Boehner Passes Obama on Skin Pigmentation Axis

    Republicans Poised for Vote to Defund Affordable Health Care. Boehner Wants Spray Tan Coverage Included.

  • LeBron is Superman

    Dead Trainer's Low Blows Cause Mental Anguish

    Sugar Ray Leonard's Former Olympic Boxing Trainer Posthumously Penalized For 'Below the Belt Contact.'

  • Charlie Sheen Escort

    Charlie Sheen Upset to Discover DC Police Escort Only Entails Ride to the Airport

    Actor Admits to Not Managing Expectations.


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