News Archive

  • Torture Hearings

    Senate Torture Hearings Excruciatingly Long

    As Talks Continue Throughout the Day, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid Makes Everyone's Ears and Head Hurt.

  • Ahmadinejad

    Ahmadinejad Denies Watching Schindler's List

    The Former Iranian Leader Claims the Instant View From His Netflix Account Was Not Him.

  • Mike Singletary

    Mike Singletary Stares Intently At Blink-182 CD

    Hall of Fame Linebacker To Assume "Three-Point Rock Stance."

  • World Leaders

    G 20 Leaders Discuss Weather, Best Route to Summit

    German Chancellor Angela Merkel Tapes a Rubber Ducky to U.S. President Barack Obama's Shoulder, Just as Russian President Vladimir Putin Shows Up With His Fly Down.

Featured News Archive

  • John Barrasso

    (R-WYO) John Barrasso Contends Global Warming A Hoax, Pro Wrestling Real

    The Senator Points Out Pro Wrestlers Are Super Athletes and It Snowed in Wyoming in October.

  • Chris Hansen

    Man Meets Dateline NBC's 'To Catch a Predator' Host

    Long-Time Fan Meets Chris Hansen and is Then Abruptly Taken Into Custody.

  • Crappy Greek Economy

    Greek Economy Taking A Greek-Style Pounding

    Lawmakers Sneak in the Back Door as Protesters Grow Increasingly Anal. Public "Bummed" Out About Bringing Up the Rear in GDP.

  • LeBron Superman

    Miami Heat Is to OK City Thunder What Kryptonite, Horseback Riding Is to Superman


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